School Rules #4: Finals

Finals have concluded here at school and I am currently writing from the airport.  I had wanted to write this post during finals week but, alas, I am enrolled in 17 credit hours and apparently they expect you to study... who knew?!

So a review of what I noticed during the week in a "Mythbusters" format, enjoy:

1. You finals are significantly more important and harder than anyone else's.  And if they already took the class, the final got harder this year.  

Logically?  NOT TRUE. I can almost guarantee you that your Humanities I, crafts, and First Year Experience have nothing on Public Relations and Reporting for Public Media...and all those other science classes...

So knock it off and enjoy easy courses while it lasts (although that scarf you took all semester to knit looks fabulous)

2. The library is the only place on campus you can study and succeed.

Well that is just completely false.  It is the LOUDEST place you can possibly go to study during finals week.. It is basically party central up in there.

So no more complaining that you spent 48732 hours in the library all week and only got a C on your exam... think about it.

3. Finals = absurd amounts of caffeine.

THEY DON'T.  bam. myth busted. your mind has just been blown.  (because of that and all the caffeine you felt the need to consume.) I absolutely love laughing at people walk around campus with shaking hands, in a cold sweat, and blood shot eyes.  ok, so that also sounds like heroine abuse or the Black Plague, but I'm 99% it was all the caffeine intake.

And I think that speaks for itself...

 

4. And finally, why does everyone think finals is administered by the devil who doesn't want you to enjoy your last weekend at school?

Totally false, if you get creative and make your own fun, finals can be a breeze. Just check out these pics:

when finals get too hard, lay in a hammock and spend time with some friends

Happy Christmas Break, everyone!  And lets try to stay calm, prevent stereotypes, and drink water when it is time for finals in the Spring!

Fact: people are stupid

Allow me to begin by quoting by William Shakespeare, "Lord, what fools these mortals be!" -from A Midsummer Night's Dream, obviously.

But seriously, people, let's attempt to use our brain, shall we?

Today I was driving to the grocery store, by myself (awkward), and as I am jamming out to Justin Bieber's new Christmas CD, a man walks right in front of me.  really?!

But because of my joyous mood I thought, "I'll let this slide buddy, but you're lucky I was only going 2 mph and could stop for you!"

Then HE STOPS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD TO TIE HIS SHOE!!

I will repeat in case your mind was just blown: HE STOPS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD TO TIE HIS SHOE!!

yes, TO TIE HIS SHOE!!


Who stops in front of a moving vehicle to tie their shoe?! unreal.

Which bring me to my next favorite quote by none other than Antoine Dodson (aka the Bed Intruder Song Guy)
"YOU ARE SO DUMB, YOU ARE REALLY DUMB, FO' REAL!"

please tell me you have seen this video

Word, Antoine.  Sometimes I think Antoine and Lil' Wayne are the only ones who understand me...

To conclude, a quote from Dwight Schrute (to be valid member of society you really should know who he is)-
"Whenever I am about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."

So simple. So true.

I think we can all take something valuable away from this post today; Have a great day, and remember,  don't be a moron!

School Rules #3: Walk to Class, please.

It's that time again... School Rules, or rather, for the sake of this post, how to be normal at college.  A helpful tip we will look at today is simply (or so I thought) walking to class.

Let me start by informing you that our campus takes up about 2 city blocks, and you can walk the entire campus in less than 6 minutes.  With that being said, why the heck is everyone riding Razor scooters around campus?!

A brief side note: I had that scooter when I was 7 years old... you should be embarassed right now if you use one...

My Reactions:

1. Really?!?! Are you that out of shape that your can't possibly make the trek from the cafeteria to the library?  Maybe if you weren't trying to scoot around with that cookie in your hand... 


2. Do you realize that you have to scoot around, stop to walk over the grassy knoll, then scoot on the sidewalk, stop to walk down stair, etc.  you are wasting so much time!

3. A brief look at the demographics of scooter users:

click if you need to enlarge to read, (nod head if not being able to read this made you feel old)

4. I just really want to run up to you and body check you off that scooter.  but violence is frowned up on campus...luck you for

5. BEST DAY EVER: when someone hits a rock and eats pavement...that's what you get, you scooter-rider!

I will conclude this post with a joke:  the 90's called, they want their Razor scooters back...  classic.

Fall Break: A Recap

Well, fall break has come and gone, and it is back to the grind of school for another 16 days before Thanksgiving...  that's right, I have a countdown going...just wait until Christmas!


For fall break I went on a cruise to the Bahamas- totally crazy! So I wanted to share a bit of my experience and our awesome Halloween costumes with everyone.

Disclaimer- If you are reading this because of your love for sarcasm and my sinister view of society, you're mostly out of luck today... sorry I'm not sorry.

The trip started with me acting like my mother- carrying a big folder of unnecessary papers around, and checking 243 times if I remembered my passport, then checking again to make sure it didn't fall out after I checked for it...it was a vicious cycle, let me tell you.


Once I got that under control, we boarded the ship and it was time to catch some sunshine and sail to paradise.  So naturally it rained and we went to dinner. On the plus side, I have some wonderful pictures from our "in-night" to share:

The next day was beautiful in the Bahamas!  We left the ship around 11, spent the day on the beach and acted like the biggest tourists in all the little shops...the perfect day.  (If you know the song Knee Deep by Zac Brown Band that was pretty much the theme song to my life that day)

The last night on the ship there was a Halloween party...my four friends and I made our own costumes and dressed up as the four seasons! and not Frankie Vali and the four seasons for you cultured musical readers

How cool are those costumes?! I am desperately searching for another opportunity to wear mine!  Costume party anyone?!

So there is a little insight to my fall break.  Definitely an awesome time and a much needed reward for hard work this first half of the semester!  Now its time to buckle down for the rest of the semester and return to my sarcastic, witty repartee... and I wonder why I don't have a boyfriend...

School Rules #2: Sleep... or lack of

Well, thankfully we have reached the halfway mark on this semester, and now its time for Fall Break; some much needed R&R.  But on the topic of rest and relaxation, I would like to call to attention the whiners and complainers...thus begins School Rules #2, on the topic of sleep.

Let me just point something out... everyone you see on a college campus is either about to pass out, or so jittery from energy drinks and coffee they can't function like human beings.  Enough is enough, people!  Seriously, its time to get your act together and form some sort of balance!

So, I have decided to systematically point out some issues regarding students and sleep.  Check yo'self:

1. Form a balance, for goodness sake!  I am all about grades, extracurricular activities, and friend time, but please note that sleep is important too, and you are completely in control of it.  No more excuses that you just had to stay up and watch reruns of Friends with your "girls," because I seriously doubt they threatened you to do it.

2. Everyone is tired!  It is a fact. So no longer should there be casual conversation that reads like this...
-"hey, how are you?"  
-"ughh soooo tired!"
-"OMG me too!"
-"You don't even know how much work I had last night..."
JUST STOP IT!!  That is the most pathetic conversation ever; I hear it at least 3 times a day, and frankly, it makes me want to punch a kitten!  Engage in a real dialogue or keep it to yourself!

3. Complaining will not make you less tired or add to how highly people think of you.  I know it is a radical thought, but lets be honest, no one cares you only slept 6 hours last night, and no one is impressed.... and besides, the bags under your eyes already make it obvious.

the truth. (found here)

Now go hop in bed, take a cat nap, and have some real conversations with people when you wake up.  Happy Fall Break!

School Rules #1: The Elevator Encounter

I have decided to start a section on School Rules.  After this first half of the semester, I have found countless things that I considered to be common sense, good ideas, and/or normal manners that most people just aren't understanding... so without further ado...The Elevator Encounter: enjoy.

Personally, I don't think elevators are a grandiose concept to master.  But for almost everyone in my dorm who doesn't quite understand how they work and/or proper manners on them, lets take a closer look.

1. Possibly the first thing I learned in regards to elevators as a child was the entering and exiting maneuver.  People who are on the elevator get off, and then those wanting to enter go next.  Everyone at school treats this as a free-for-all and mass chaos follows.  pull yourself together, people, and wait your turn!

2. True Story:  I was on the elevator the other day, doing my own thing, and  a girl gets on.  I say hello... no response.  I ask what floor she is going to, so I can press the button for her in a kind gesture...no response.  really!? and I know for a fact that your are neither deaf nor mute!

So lets remember, don't be afraid to acknowledge other peoples presence when in an elevator... because its just going to be awkward if it gets stuck and you are trapped in there with them.

3. Last but not least, be aware of other people on the elevator!  It is completely unnecessary to hold the elevator for someone who hasn't even made it into the building yet when other people are on it.  true story! can you believe it!?  We all literally waited (and yes, I clocked it) 1:02 for a girl who held the elevator for a friend.  she had 5 less friends after it was over...

the truth

So, let'ts take a moment to realize there are proper manners, and a system to using the elevator. 

Elevators are a privilege, and if you can't master it...take the stairs!!     

These Boots Were Made for Walkin'

Today I woke up to swaying palm trees and the sound of rain beating against my window.  First thought in my mind?  RAIN BOOTS!!  Considering I live in South Florida, what should it have been? HURRICANE.

Not to worry, it was just a rain storm.  So, now that my safety is taken care of, let me state that I absolutely love rainy days.  Most Floridians hate them.  Why, it means no more tanning in the sun for hours and increasing their chances of melanoma... darn.  

Fact: I planned my outfit today around my rain boots. 

Fact: It took me longer than usual to get ready today because of these rain boots. 

Fact: It stopped raining by my last class today, and typical of Florida weather, there were no more puddles and I was the awkward girl sporting bright red rain boots through campus...marinade in that for a minute...

Marc Jacobs rain boots = love

Today was destined to be awesome, and yes, i make that statement solely (ha, did you catch that joke) because i got to wear my rain boots.  Did I jump in every puddle I could find?  You bet your bottom dollar I did!  

So happy rain boots day to all who live in South Florida, and to friends and family up north, well, you have had your fair share of rain days and now its my turn!

Snail Mail

O how I delight in handwritten letters!  Who doesn't love opening their mailbox to a pretty envelope with your name on it?! Seriously, it makes my day every time.

Birthday letters from this year :)

letter from mom... lets be honest, its totally true- I have no filter

So I feel the need to bring to attention an issue of utmost importance- post offices nation wide are closing... THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE!!

Since 2006 nearly 200 post offices have been shut down and more are continuing to prepare for closures.  Unacceptable.  A brief Americana style of the US Post Office for you:  In 1775 our forefathers began the postal service with Benjamin Franklin being the first ever Post Master General.  So cool.  

And if that didn't convince you, can I just say how awesome it is to make your own cards and stationary?! Seriously, some days you just need to be crafty.... check it:

dear friends, you will be getting these in the mail shortly!

Now, go scrapbook a "made with love" letter, and write to your mother!

 

Hello my name is....

Don't you just love those sticky name tags when you go to an event?  I don't know about you but I always want to change my name to Cinderella or Queen Elizabeth, mainly to see what kind of reaction I get.  But, since I cannot be Jackie Kennedy or Annie Oakley, I am Jessica.  Currently a Floridian, and usually an Ohioan.  At least the weather change isn't too drastic...

I love baking, crafting, and sarcasm.  Saturday Night Live, tennis (usually), and my friends.

yours truly 

Starbucks gatherings with my friends into the wee hours of the night is one of my favorite ways to spend time... in fact, we named our group The Starbucks club- shout out to all of them...who better be reading this.  

a little old, but I think our awesomeness is pretty apparent.

So, right now I am enjoying life on my own and in Palm Beach, its hard work, let me tell you.  To introduce another friend... meet Natalie... best friends since we were little... what more needs to be said?

PS- the mustache isn't real, it simply adds to our attractive looks and serious manner.

So, welcome and nice to meet you... we'll save the awkward handshake like they have in church every Sunday for another day, because, lets be honest, we all know we die a little inside every time we shake hands with the man who just sneezed into his sweaty palms. Nice to meet you!